I think I've been experiencing the low point of culture shock over the last few days. It probably doesn't sound like it from what I write, I know. I have been doing fantastic things and having great experiences. Just this week I've befriended the workers renovating our apartment, seen incredible concerts, an opera, finished a great book, made bread for the first time (it's delicious, by the way), and lived hundreds of moments through a regular day that I want to hang on to. Saying 'Sziasztok' to my Hungarian friends is still a little exciting for me, and when I walk along the Danube, I still think "I'm in Budapest" and marvel at how this came to be.
In Hungarian class today, we worked on translating a page of print into English. I looked at it and realized that I didn't know most of the words. I've been studying, talking with people, and making up sentences while walking around, but I couldn't recognize the damn words. And this little frustration triggered something emotionally, and I had that worthless feeling again. If you want a description, scroll down a few posts.
I feel like I'm at a feast with the best food from everywhere, and I've been eating ravenously for months. Now I can't take anything in. Even if you handed me a slice of the best cake, or a glass of fine wine (or a forró csokoládé chilivel), I would be reluctant to eat.
Here, I'm gonna try something now. After I post this, I'm turning off all the electronics in my room and taking a one hour nap.
P.S. To my family, I wrote this listening to the Rhythm of the Pride Lands album. I know you know that means I miss you.
Friday, March 27, 2009
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That is tough, tough, tough, my dear. And FYI, Rhythm of the Pride Lands was the first CD I put on my new computer. It was necessary.
ReplyDeleteHi precious Jesse! This is your gransdma Donna talking! Your mom and I are in my room, having just returned from the doctor's where I was sure he would OK me for an electric wheelchair but, alas, he did not and that's the big disappointment of my day. I have neuropathy, arthritis, and fibromyalgia. We'll be out in New Mexico three months from now and hopefully the climate out in the West will be advantageous to my aching bones.
ReplyDeleteIt brings me a lot of happiness to know tat you are having such a good time. Thank you so much for your post card. I feel like you're my guardian angel because I have you right over my bed! I'm eager for the move and look forward to new friends and adventures. It will be a joy to see you again in 3 months and my heart is a-palpitatin'. I understand we'll be getting there about the same time. Please remember I love you and pray for you daily. Have fun, be safe, and don't forget us back here! Your Grandma
Jesse,
ReplyDeleteI hope this isn't too random for you. I was just exploring several people's blogs (a lot of my friends are abroad this semester) and happened to see this. I just thought it might be comforting to hear from someone who is going through the same thing. I am currently spending a semester in Auckland, NZ and I've been hitting that crummy part of culture shock for the past couple weeks. So my two cents... Napping is good. Music is definitely good. I have for sure used those things to help me. But going back to your analogy of a feast... What would you do if you were actually at a feast and were completely stuffed full? Stop eating. Slow down a bit. Every moment doesn't have to be something totally new and incredible. One of my favorite parts of being abroad or travelling anywhere is recognizing those things that are universal. Take some time to observe things that are average to people, as well as all those things that are amazing. For example, one thing that amuses me in Auckland is watching people in traffic jams. They all have that annoyed, grumpy face that I am certain I have when stuck in traffic at home. I think that doing that will bring you back down to earth a bit. And it gives you something to relate to. Not everything is completely foreign. There are many things that are the same no matter where you go. Seeing that is something that brings me a lot of joy. I think it's interesting and very humanizing. Studying abroad is an amazing experience and you should make the most of it but I think it's okay to take things at a more laid back pace sometimes. The feast will still be there but it will taste much better when you're hungry. (Or Hungary... Sorry, cheesy.) I hope this helps and that you start feeling better soon. And I hope that this isn't creepy. I certainly didn't mean for it to be. Have a great time in Budapest.
Your friend,
Pam Wilkinson